Cyber Man

[Milesx]

I heard it is very tough for an animation studio to accept your pitch if you don't have any animation credits. So I decided before I pitch my cartoon series, I began to write an animation feature film script to submit to a studio to earn the credit if the script gets accepted. I will post the link to my script after I finish fifteen pages of it. Here is the info of it.

Title: Cyber Man

Genre: Science Fiction

Synopsis: Taking place in a fictional city called Lagoon City in North America, a car mechcanic teenage named Taylor Williams is very bad at repairing cars for his dad. He is so bad, his father's business is on the edge of going out of business. One day Taylor enter a swim race contest to win against his bully, Crust Hamster for beating him last time. However nobody knows the lake, which the swimmers are swimming through, is contaminated with alien mircoscopic bots. After the race the next day, Taylor discover he can transform into an alien combat robot. As a machine, he continue to fix cars for his dad in a better way. Taylor thought his life would be better now, until he discover he is not the going one.
Crust and his street gang soon find out they can transform too, but use their transformation to rob people, destroy stuff, and harm their enemies. They call themselves the Werebot Gang. When Taylor's friends and father become in danger, Taylor becomes forced to battle the Werebot Gang to save his home.

What do you think?;)

[Terro]

The overall idea is decent , but could always use more work. For me this story would be geared at a younger audience because the main plot is pretty much a rivalry between 2 groups. It would work well in episodes as opposed to one single story. With that said, there's nothing wrong with that, but it has been done a lot already with animations such as Transformers, TMNT's, Captain Planet...etc.

[Milesx]

I know there are similar concepts had been done already, but hey. I never heard of human characters turning into robots before.

[Rasheed]

You should perhaps read this thread (http://forums.awn.com/showthread.php?t=3790) over on the AWN forums about pitching your work.

Telling what happens in a story is not the same thing as what the story is about. Telling what a story is about is more high level, putting it into perspective with other, similar, stories: what change is the character going through, what are the obstacles he has to overcome, etc. I would say, read the thread and learn. There is also a link to this article (http://www.awn.com/mag/issue5.06/5.06pages/pitchsurvey.php3), which is also very educational to read.

[Milesx]

Thank you I read the forum and the article. I basic idea was to bring a new race of machines into the media. However I was trying to figure out what my story is actually about. Then finally I realize what it could actually be about.

It's about a kid who is trying to express his father, because his father seems to not like him anymore. Because Taylor is not so good at repairing cars for his dad, his father believes his son is nothing but a failure. When Taylor gains the ability to transform into a machine, he realize his machine form can repair cars better than his human form. So when he began to fix cars as a machine for his dad, his father began to become proud of him. Taylor found a solution to make his father continue loving him. He thought everything will go well, until Crust's Werebot gang began to rob and harm people. And soon Taylor's friends and father falls into danger as well as the whole small city. Taylor learns that great power comes when in great need. So he begins to risk his life saving his friends, father, and everyone else in the city for the good.

Crust's point of view is that only the strong should rule over the weak to make life worthly of living. So he believes his Werebot gang and him should rule over humans for their own greedy purpose. To Taylor it is wrong, because conquering the weak only cause tragery and lost. ANd Taylor doesn't want to lose his friends and father. That's why both sides are rivaling against each other for their points of view and desires.

This should make my story sound better now. :)