Video Nasty(Short script).

[santosh2]

Title: Video Nasty.
Genre: Comedy.
Synopsis: Two 16 year old girls, Reena(Indian) and Hannah(English) make their own horror movie as part of a school project. Using a DV camera, they coerce their friends into making a movie called ‘Video Nasty’. Reena’s boyfriend Ryan(English) plays an avenging zombie in the film and her friend Heather(Black) plays the heroine.

If there are any filmmakers/animators who would like to work with me on this then please get in touch. Thanks.
santoshsandhu@hotmail.com

[jackhalfaprayer]

Not bad! Personally I dislike films-about-filmmaking kinds of things but this is pretty fun. Gore and schlock are great subjects to play around in. Your strengths here are realism- believable characters in a fun amateur auteur situation. tho I don't think a priest would say "****ing."

Watch your formatting- you've got a number of unnecessary spaces between some dialogue/character headers. also, never dangle a slugline at the bottom of a page and start the scene at the top of the next. space it down so that the slugline is at the top of the page.

the two friends don't really encounter any serious obstacles. you may want to make this about making a film, that's great. but filmmaking is hard! it tries people and pushes them to limits. drama unfolds on set. I don't feel like there's enough of that here. You might consider pushing the two apart over getting things right- put the film and their friendship in jeopardy at the same time, or have them actually get into trouble while on the shoot and the principle/teacher/media class tries to shut them down. etc.

finally you can draw out the suspense more by having the priest approach earlier and not say anything until he's closer to the scene. either way you go with this, you describe a distant priest who then yells from O.C.- why not take us to his porch and show us his perspective a bit? Strange light in the cemetery, hushed voices... if he walks closer it makes the reader think "oh crap, they're done for," and builds up the payoff of "oh crap, that was close."

just suggestions. congrats on a solid draft and good luck with the project. PM me if you'd like more feedback.

the first Evil Dead is many things, but funny? i almost pissed myself when I saw that flick for the first time! the second one is when they turn into slapstick.